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⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️

Loess Hills Lotion Works

Bluff-smooth skin, valley-deep fiction

⚠️ This brand does not exist.

Topical relief layered like Iowa's loess bluffs, with precisely zero actual cannabis.

Topicals

Products by Loess Hills Lotion Works

Loess Hills Lotion Balm OG Kush
Loess Hills Lotion Balm OG Kush
Topicals / Balm
THC 9.0%
$38.00 / 2 oz balm
Layered OG Kush balm as complex as western Iowa's loess geology. Relief in fi...
by Loess Hills Lotion Works
Loess Hills Lotion Skywalker OG
Loess Hills Lotion Skywalker OG
Topicals / Lotion
THC 8.0%
$44.00 / 4 oz lotion
Force-layered Skywalker OG lotion built into the bluffs of western Iowa's ima...
by Loess Hills Lotion Works

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in Iowa:

Advocacy Organizations

NORML National
The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.
Marijuana Policy Project National
The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.

Other States Also Waiting for Legalization

Alabama Fake Cannabis Finder
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Wyoming Fake Cannabis Finder

FREE STATES — Where Adults Can Legally Enjoy Cannabis

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⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

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⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️